Haiti Second Adoption Trip Journal (4/2/13-4/7/13)

We received IBESR approval (required before an adoption case is filed with the courts) on March 12. The judgment of adoption and registry of the judgment with the Minister of the Interior are what finalizes the adoption on the Haiti side. Adoptive parents are required to appear in court as part of the judicial proceedings. That court appearance was the primary purpose for our trip.

Once the adoption is finalized on the Haiti side, there are additional steps to obtain a child’s Haitian passport and visa to enter the U.S. For the visa, adoptive parents are required to file an I-600 petition and be interviewed by USCIS (any living birth family members are also interviewed separately by USCIS). The Embassy allows parents to schedule an appointment for their filing and interview once they’ve received IBESR approval. That way, their file can be open and waiting when the adoption decree is registered. Many agencies (including ours) arrange for adoptive parents to take care of both the court appearances and the I-600 filing/ interview during the same trip, so that only one additional trip (the final trip to bring their child(ren) home) is necessary. We found out on March 15 that we had a 7:30 a.m. USCIS appointment at the Embassy in Port-au-Prince on April 3. Our Parquet (high court) appearance was scheduled for 2:00 that afternoon.

With school in session, we thought it would be easier to pack an extra suitcase and take our girls along than to delegate school mornings, lunches, homework, agenda signing and extra-curriculars to the grandparents for a whole week. The fact that our girls are flexible, adventurous, obedient little troopers who love to travel certainly makes such decisions easier. It is truly a joy for us to travel with them! We asked their teachers to send some schoolwork so they wouldn’t get behind and we packed our bags and we were off!

When we were researching flights, we discovered the Spirit Airlines flights out of Ft. Lauderdale (about a 4 hour drive south) were so much cheaper than the American Airlines flights out of Tampa (where we usually fly out) that if we’d be willing to make the drive, we could pay for the entire trip (airfare, lodging, food--everything) PLUS cover our hotel for our weekend at Disney for K’s birthday, for LESS than the airfare alone were we to fly out of Tampa. With that kind of savings, we couldn’t resist giving drive + fly thing a whirl for this trip. I have to say it worked out well. The only thing I might do differently would be to take the day before off, drive down leisurely and get some sleep at a hotel close to the airport. Our wanting to work on Monday (and the fact that we waited until Monday evening to pack) made it a little crazy.

Our flight out of FLL was scheduled to depart at 7:15 a.m. Tuesday morning. We planned to get a few hours’ sleep and leave the house around midnight to give ourselves a little time cushion for the drive to the airport. I’m normally not a fan of driving late at night OR of the drive from our house to YeeHaw Junction (think miles and miles of two lanes and tons of semi trucks), but it was all for a good cause and I was sure our pumping adrenaline would keep us awake. D started getting cross-eyed around Lake Wales (literally, he had some sort of vertigo episode which thankfully passed after a bit and didn’t return) so I drove most of the way, keeping myself awake and amused by singing along to the best hits of the 70s, 80s and 90s on the radio. Music from my prime—HaHa! The girls slept the entire trip. We made great time, got a parking spot right next to the elevator, breezed through check-in and security, and had plenty of time to relax with our Dunkin’ Donuts, coffee and chocolate milk while waiting to board.

Watching for our plane.  Ready to go to Haiti!

I read somewhere that most of the passengers on the Spirit Airlines flights into and out of FLL tend to be Haitian and Haitian-American. That was accurate for our flights. There was one other blanc man on our flight to Port-au-Prince and we were the only blanc people on our flight back to Florida. I need to look up whether blanc is the term Haitians use to refer to Caucasian people? Kind of like Muzungu in Zambia or Ferengi in Ethiopia? I know it’s the term the children at our sons’ children’s village use (I’ve heard myself referred to as HM’s “mama blanc”). Anyway, I loved that we were already surrounded by Haitians and hearing kreyol spoken all around us. It reminded me of flying Ethiopian Airlines to Addis—like an appetizer for your destination while you’re still in route.

We got to use the brand new arrivals terminal at Toussaint L’Overture. It wasn’t yet open when we were in Haiti last fall. Everything from the restrooms (you see ALL the restrooms when you travel with three little girls!) to immigration to baggage claim was so nice and clean and shiny. What a welcome! The new terminal is a huge improvement. Rebuilding, restoration and progress is a good first impression for visitors to the country. We breezed through, found our driver and were soon buckling our girls in the van (this was definitely for me the MOST nerve-wracking aspect of taking our girls!) (Haitian drivers are crazy!) (And accidents do happen—we saw a couple fender benders in town and came across some really messed up tap-taps on the side of the road as we drove through the villages) and sitting back to watch them experience Haiti.

We were eager to get our girls’ impressions of their brothers’ country—through their own innocent, filled-with-wonder eyes. We were truly hoping they’d see more beauty than brokenness and that they’d be able to find beauty amidst the brokenness.

Before we left, we told our daughters it was important that they use their best "Queen of England" manners at the Embassy and Court so people would see what sweet and loving sisters the boys would have.  Another thing we told them was that once they were in Haiti, they would be ambassadors for all children of the United States.  We told them that many of the people we would see do not see a lot of American children. If our girls were rude or fussy, those people might think all American children were cross. But if our girls were kind and well-mannered and smiled, they might think good things about American children. Maybe a Haitian previously met a grouchy American and now thought all Americans were that way—perhaps the B Girls could be the ones to change that! Before we travelled, we practiced Bonjou, Bonswa, Sou-play, Merci, Oui and Non. We told them that if people stared or smiled at them, they should look back and return the smile. If they saw a child looking at them, they should smile and wave and say a friendly Bonjou! And to our delight, they did these things all week—and almost always got warm responses from the Haitian people they interacted with! A couple weeks after we got back, Miss M noticed that the woman ringing up our beignets at Disney was from Port-au-Prince (it was on her name badge). That woman’s whole face lit up when M said “Merci!” as she left with her chocolate milk. Being friendly and making an effort can go so far with people!

The ride to the hotel was as bumpy and swervy and horn-honkingy full of “playing chicken” as I remembered. M and A had window seats and looked out intently—taking in every detail. Groups of children in uniforms—girls with big floppy matching bows in their hair—walking proudly to school with books in their arms and hope in their eyes. The future of Haiti.

Image by Briana Payne of Great Minds Think Too Much

Tap-taps and buses full of people—inside, on top and hanging onto the back. People selling all sorts of things on the sidewalks. People dressed in work uniforms and suits. Port-au-Prince was bustling with activity. Hardworking, resilient people.

View from our dashboard.  Note that we were going 50+ mph!

Miss M had to snap a picture of this goat loudly whinny-ing on the back of this moto.
To me, the more surprising and rare thing captured in this photo is that both moto drivers are wearing helmets!  

Our van was approached by several street kids—dressed in rags, begging for handouts. Oh, how they pull my heartstrings. The heaviness was punctuated by a bit of comic relief when one of them looked Miss M in the eye and asked (in English!) if she’d marry him. She giggled and turned red. We passed a large tent city on the outskirts of town. Miss A observed “that’s the seventh un-truck I’ve seen since we’ve been here” (referring to a UN vehicle). There is still work to be done.

We left the city and entered the countryside. Drove over a bridge and saw naked children splashing and swimming in a muddy river beneath us. Random horses, donkeys, cows, dogs, and pigs wandered along the road. The mountains were not as green as they were in November—but they were just as majestic. The grass had turned brown and the air seemed hotter and drier. Reminded me of the landscape in Southern Colorado. Only when I turned my head from the mountains on the right, I saw pristine, postcard-worthy Caribbean beaches on the left. And that water. I’ve never seen water so blue. True royal blue scattered with fishing vessels. Breathtaking.

Ahhh, the gorgeous Haiti coastline!

As we passed through the villages, down the crowded market roads, I looked out and watched the people as they watched us drive through. Miss A, my petite angel-faced 6 year old, had her window open. She must have been an unexpected sight, as I kept seeing people do double-takes and smile and wave at her as we went by. My heart swelled as I watched her smile and wave back—connecting with them and connecting herself to Haiti.

When we got to the resort, we asked the girls what they thought. Miss M said she saw three sad things—a small child crying in the tent city and a lonely-looking man with one leg sitting on a sidewalk. K (who has become much more aware of, or at least much more talkative about, hair and skin color in recent months) observed that “the peoples have brown skin like me.” The big girls suggested that our family move to Haiti. They would continue to make their case for the move all week. Mountains for hiking. Oceans for swimming. Miss M decided that if we don’t relocate to Haiti as a family, she’ll just live on a farm in Haiti when she grows up. Miss A made arrangements to move in with her. They’ll have horses that they’ll teach Haitian children to ride and they’ll grow bananas and mangos. Sounds like a good life to me. Maybe D and I will move in with them.

Pulling into our resort after the ultimate and real Mr. Toad's wild ride!

Once we checked in and freshened up in our bungalow,

K couldn't wait to unpack the Woody-Buzz puzzles!

we walked to the children’s village to meet with Supreme and the new director, Beverly, to discuss our Embassy and court appointments. As Beverly was looking over the paperwork we brought and confirming everything was in order, a familiar little face walked through the door of the office. Our sweet HM who’d grown so much in the 4 months since we’d seen him! He was a little shy but seemed to remember us and smiled as we sing-songed his name. And who was this chunky little guy being carried in by a nanny? Our latest update said he “crawls with great speed” but we didn’t get to see that as he insisted on being carried all week! Baby J came right to me with a big grin on his face—showing off all his new teeth! We all oohed and ahhed and fussed over the boys for a few minutes and then were informed by Beverly that the clerk of the local court was only going to be there for a little while longer so we should head out and take care of that filing right then. We made a split-second decision to leave our girls there with the boys at the village. I propped J up next to Miss M and we headed out. He was not happy about being put down and we could hear him wailing as we hopped in the van with one of the village employees. The first time we ever heard him cry. A while later down the road, we looked at each other and said—did we really just leave our girls at an orphanage in a third world country? It does sound crazy, but it also reflects how comfortable and safe we felt there and how much trust we have in the Holt staff. And it really was for less than an hour, Mama.

It was about a 20 minute drive to the courthouse in Arcahaie. We met with the clerk of court in a tiny office, stacked high with files, papers spilling out of an old file cabinet in the corner, lit by a single bulb hanging from the ceiling. The clerk wrote down a bunch of stuff in a spiral notebook and had us sign under our personal information he’d copied from our passports and drivers licenses.  We spoke briefly with him about Haiti and our trip and that was that. 

We got back to the village office to find J contentedly snuggled up to Miss M and Misses A and K laughing and playing with HM and another little girl from the village. Beverly later told me that J stopped crying within minutes of us leaving and that she’d observed a special bond developing between him and Miss M. It was true. Throughout the week, we noticed a special connection between our oldest daughter and youngest son. She doted on him constantly and wanted to help with everything from bottle-feeding to diaper-changing.

A special bond.  Our oldest and youngest.

We decided to take the kiddos out of the office so the staff could get some work done. We walked out to the playground to swing, slide and try to get some pictures of our Fab Five (5 CHILDREN!!! REALLY????) playing together in Haiti. It was surreal. Other adoptive parents can probably relate to the sense of incompleteness you feel when waiting to bring your child(ren) home. With every good memory and in every great photo, there’s a little sense that someone is missing. Most families don’t get to experience the joy of everyone being together until the end of their journey. We felt so blessed to be able to get a little glimpse of the chaos and completion in store for us when the boys finally come home.

HM capturing his own memories.  A future Big Star photographer?

When the cottage mamas started preparing their houses for dinner, we decided it was a good time for goodbye hugs. It had been a long night+day (though not nearly as long as the next day would seem) and we had to be dressed up and ready for our Embassy and Parquet appointments by 5:30 the next morning. We walked back to the resort, watched the sun set over Gonave Island from our bungalow porch, ate dinner and went to bed—full hearts, full tummies and full of anticipation about what the rest of the week would have in store.