I was under the weather when I flew to Ethiopia. I think that's what triggered the ear issues I endured while there. Despite using all of the tried-and-true techniques--gum chewing, yawning, trying to exhale while closing my mouth and plugging my nose, swallowing, drinking water, you name it--my ears never equalized when descending on Addis Ababa. Advil was sufficient to address the constant earache, but the whole time I was there, I felt like I was wearing earmuffs! I had to really strain to hear! I wasn’t even able to assess my own volume. Yet, I felt like the Lord was wanting me not to focus so much on healing for my ears and tuning into the noises and conversations around me, but on drawing closer to Him. On pressing into the quiet and listening to His voice and what He was speaking to my heart. On hearing what He wanted to teach me through each experience and situation encountered on the trip.
And over the course of the trip, He began to reveal things to me. I recognized that, after years of wondering how they would fit together--organizations we're passionate about, talents we've wondered how God could use, dreams so big and near to our heart that we’ve only dared to share them with the Lord, each other and a few close friends, people we knew were brought into our lives for a bigger purpose, experiences we knew would have greater significance in our journey but we weren’t sure how--have started to connect. The picture they’re creating is exciting and my place in it is becoming clearer. It appears a great adventure is just around the bend. Most of it will, out of necessity, take place out of the spotlight, under the radar and behind the scenes of this blog. But it’s really cool stuff. And it seems closer than ever before.
The timing of a number of recent attacks began to make sense. The devil knows people will be blessed, lives will be changed, and God will be glorified, so he is desperately trying to clutter our lives with chaotic noise and chatter--deception, denial, sickness, setbacks--attacks coming from every angle against us and our loved ones. To make us fearful. To make us angry. To cause us to be anxious. To create division. Anything to distract from that still, small voice of God--giving discernment, guiding our steps and reminding us that He is in control. That he knows every circumstance. That He knows our dreams. That He loves our family even more than we do. That He hates sin even more than we do. That He is our healer. That He is our redeemer. That He is our comforter. That He has a plan for us--a plan even greater, wilder, bigger, better and more perfect than anything we’ve dreamed of. That He created the universe. That He is on the throne. That He wins this thing in the end. And, perhaps most importantly, that He is enough.
Peace washed over me as I realized that instead of feeling like I need to pour all my strength into fighting these battles, I need to leave them at the cross and direct my energy toward chasing after God and letting Him guide my steps according to His plan. He'll take care of the rest.
This sense of peace--of not being discouraged by my smallness in the face of great problems, of knowing the things that are breaking my heart are breaking the Lord's heart, too, of believing that He is in control of those things out of my hands--covered me as I processed the poverty and brokenness we witnessed on our trip. There were so many heartbreaking scenes. There was such tremendous need. But I wasn’t as shocked by it as I have been in the past. Not sure if I'd call it desensitization, as my trips to Africa have rocked my world and completely changed me forever. But there was a familiarity that hasn't been there before. A sense of being in my comfort zone in a place about as different as is possible from where most of my days are spent. A reassurance that these are His children too, that this part of the world is also in His hands. A feeling of calm in the midst of the hard and the heavy. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the immensity of the problems, I felt excited about opportunities for obedient hearts and willing hands to make a difference. I felt hopeful about the things that the body of Christ can do, and are doing, to serve and change lives of "the least of these" in Addis.
My ears continued to bother me and were especially painful while landing to refuel in Rome and finally touching down in D.C. Then, while waiting in the immigration line at Dulles, I felt a loud pop deep in my ear canals and in an instant, my ears opened up and I could hear normally again. The timing of the healing was not lost on me. Since I’ve been home, I’ve tried to be more intentional about filtering out certain noises from my life and spending more of my quiet time actually being quiet, listening for His voice, reading the Word. Though attacks continue, worry and stress about them are no longer weighing me down! I believe breakthrough and blessing are imminent. In the meantime, I'm leaning into His grace and mercy and trusting His plan.
Reintegration has been different this time, too. Instead of coming home outraged and aggravated, I returned home energized and encouraged. It's never easy and I don't think I'll ever come home from Africa unchanged. But this time around, it's been less about feelings of guilt and complaints about excess, indulgence and those who don't get it. It's been more about connecting with others who feel similarly called to make a difference and looking forward with anticipation about what God is going to do! I’m thankful for the resources I have here that I can use to make an impact there. I’m excited about opportunities we have to partner with some of the ministries we visited in country. I’m ready to jump when God opens the door to our big dream. I’m grateful for the friendship of the other women on the trip—women of all ages, from all walks of life and from all over the country—who all share my adoration of cute shoes and scarves, my love for Ethiopia and my heart for serving the poor and vulnerable widowed, orphaned and disabled. And I’m inspired by people like Jimmy and Rachel Gross, Ian and Brittany Bentley, and Jerry and Christy Shannon—couples who have boldly followed God’s call on their lives and are changing the world one precious person at a time.
Life’s been happening faster than I’ve been able to write. Looks like I started this post on Oct. 27 and it’s taken me almost three weeks to finish—-a few sentences at a time. I’m not even sure it makes sense. But I’m excited to share about my trip and hope to write more soon.
And over the course of the trip, He began to reveal things to me. I recognized that, after years of wondering how they would fit together--organizations we're passionate about, talents we've wondered how God could use, dreams so big and near to our heart that we’ve only dared to share them with the Lord, each other and a few close friends, people we knew were brought into our lives for a bigger purpose, experiences we knew would have greater significance in our journey but we weren’t sure how--have started to connect. The picture they’re creating is exciting and my place in it is becoming clearer. It appears a great adventure is just around the bend. Most of it will, out of necessity, take place out of the spotlight, under the radar and behind the scenes of this blog. But it’s really cool stuff. And it seems closer than ever before.
The timing of a number of recent attacks began to make sense. The devil knows people will be blessed, lives will be changed, and God will be glorified, so he is desperately trying to clutter our lives with chaotic noise and chatter--deception, denial, sickness, setbacks--attacks coming from every angle against us and our loved ones. To make us fearful. To make us angry. To cause us to be anxious. To create division. Anything to distract from that still, small voice of God--giving discernment, guiding our steps and reminding us that He is in control. That he knows every circumstance. That He knows our dreams. That He loves our family even more than we do. That He hates sin even more than we do. That He is our healer. That He is our redeemer. That He is our comforter. That He has a plan for us--a plan even greater, wilder, bigger, better and more perfect than anything we’ve dreamed of. That He created the universe. That He is on the throne. That He wins this thing in the end. And, perhaps most importantly, that He is enough.
Peace washed over me as I realized that instead of feeling like I need to pour all my strength into fighting these battles, I need to leave them at the cross and direct my energy toward chasing after God and letting Him guide my steps according to His plan. He'll take care of the rest.
This sense of peace--of not being discouraged by my smallness in the face of great problems, of knowing the things that are breaking my heart are breaking the Lord's heart, too, of believing that He is in control of those things out of my hands--covered me as I processed the poverty and brokenness we witnessed on our trip. There were so many heartbreaking scenes. There was such tremendous need. But I wasn’t as shocked by it as I have been in the past. Not sure if I'd call it desensitization, as my trips to Africa have rocked my world and completely changed me forever. But there was a familiarity that hasn't been there before. A sense of being in my comfort zone in a place about as different as is possible from where most of my days are spent. A reassurance that these are His children too, that this part of the world is also in His hands. A feeling of calm in the midst of the hard and the heavy. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the immensity of the problems, I felt excited about opportunities for obedient hearts and willing hands to make a difference. I felt hopeful about the things that the body of Christ can do, and are doing, to serve and change lives of "the least of these" in Addis.
My ears continued to bother me and were especially painful while landing to refuel in Rome and finally touching down in D.C. Then, while waiting in the immigration line at Dulles, I felt a loud pop deep in my ear canals and in an instant, my ears opened up and I could hear normally again. The timing of the healing was not lost on me. Since I’ve been home, I’ve tried to be more intentional about filtering out certain noises from my life and spending more of my quiet time actually being quiet, listening for His voice, reading the Word. Though attacks continue, worry and stress about them are no longer weighing me down! I believe breakthrough and blessing are imminent. In the meantime, I'm leaning into His grace and mercy and trusting His plan.
Reintegration has been different this time, too. Instead of coming home outraged and aggravated, I returned home energized and encouraged. It's never easy and I don't think I'll ever come home from Africa unchanged. But this time around, it's been less about feelings of guilt and complaints about excess, indulgence and those who don't get it. It's been more about connecting with others who feel similarly called to make a difference and looking forward with anticipation about what God is going to do! I’m thankful for the resources I have here that I can use to make an impact there. I’m excited about opportunities we have to partner with some of the ministries we visited in country. I’m ready to jump when God opens the door to our big dream. I’m grateful for the friendship of the other women on the trip—women of all ages, from all walks of life and from all over the country—who all share my adoration of cute shoes and scarves, my love for Ethiopia and my heart for serving the poor and vulnerable widowed, orphaned and disabled. And I’m inspired by people like Jimmy and Rachel Gross, Ian and Brittany Bentley, and Jerry and Christy Shannon—couples who have boldly followed God’s call on their lives and are changing the world one precious person at a time.
Life’s been happening faster than I’ve been able to write. Looks like I started this post on Oct. 27 and it’s taken me almost three weeks to finish—-a few sentences at a time. I’m not even sure it makes sense. But I’m excited to share about my trip and hope to write more soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for visiting our blog! We love to get comments!