Adoption Update

So we’ve been paperchasing for 7ish months now.

And. . . just as we were finalizing our dossier. . . I accepted an offer of employment from a new company (see THIS post for the scoop). Had we gone ahead and shipped out our paperwork, my employment letter and our homestudy would have been inaccurate by the time our file entered the system in Haiti. We didn’t want to chance complications due to that, so we opted to hold off for a few weeks and, as soon as I started the new gig, get a new employment letter and have our social worker prepare an addendum to our homestudy. There were a couple of hiccups in accomplishing those tasks, but—many thanks to a great social worker willing to help us out during her well-deserved vacation—we finally got the docs in hand and last week were able to ship the addenda to USCIS and the Florida Secretary of State. Once we receive the certified addendum back from the Secretary of State, we will need to obtain authentications from the U.S. State Department and Haitian Consulate and then, hopefully then (keep reading for more new developments), we can finally send it all off to Haiti.

Meanwhile, big changes have also been taking place in Haiti. Back in May, the government put a temporary hold on accepting new dossiers until the first of August. The stated reason for this was to work through a huge case backlog in an attempt to start moving things through the system more efficiently. All parties seemed optimistic about that move—I feel for all the folks who have been in process since before the earthquake! Not sure how much of a dent they’ve actually made in their files, but in any event, we’re still shooting to deliver our dossier shortly after they re-open. Giving rise to a lot of uncertainty, however, is the Haitian Parliament’s June 11 approval of a decree for ratification of the Hague Convention. This is a good thing overall, as becoming a party to the Convention generally indicates that a country wants to operate under higher ethical standards and improve their system of in-country care alternatives. However, what happens after ratification—the actual implementation of a Hague-compliant system—varies from country to country. Some countries opt to gradually implement changes to a system already in place; others choose to stop inter-country adoptions altogether while they re-structure. And different countries take different approaches with respect to cases in process. The unknowns can be stressful to those already emotionally and financially invested in the process of adopting from that country. There’s been a lot of chatter about how Haiti will roll out its changes and what this all means for the future of U.S. adoptions from Haiti. Haiti has not yet deposited the instrument of ratification to the Hague Permanent Bureau in the Netherlands, the event which triggers the necessity of a country to make a compliance plan. They could do that tomorrow or years from now. At this point, all we can really do is keep plugging along (the door hasn’t closed yet) and wait for an official announcement or some form of authoritative guidance from Haiti. I must admit, the thought of putting all this work into our dossier only to have Haiti put a moratorium on adoptions is a bit unnerving. As well as confusing in that we are certain God prompted us to adopt from Haiti in the first place. We’re doing our best to remain calm and not jump to conclusions despite all of the speculation, confusion, panic and rumors swirling around in Haiti adoption circles.

Overall, I’d say we’re holding up pretty well. Thankfully, I’ve discovered the following formula, which is tremendously effective in dealing with adoption curveballs and nipping pity parties in the bud:

I also owe much of what others perceive to be sanity and grace to being blessed with such a patient, understanding and wise husband! Not only does he pour my wine and draw my bath, but he helps me put things in perspective and reminds me that our focus needs to be on what God is teaching us through this journey, not on what we may have envisioned as the destination. I’ve always been a structured, organized, goal-oriented gal. I struggle when challenged to give up control or when I’m unable to make a plan and make it happen. God is definitely working on my heart in this area. I’ve joked with the Lord that in my version of “Jesus Take the Wheel”, I’d move out of the driver’s seat but then annoy Jesus with all sorts of unsolicited advice. “Slow down, Jesus!” “Go faster, Jesus” “Oops, Jesus, I think you missed our turn.” I really do want to be able to just zip my lip and enjoy the ride. I think He is using this adoption and all the crazy going on in our lives right now to teach me. And even more importantly, I can sense that He is using these lessons to prepare me for something big and wild and wonderful He has planned for our family down the road.

I’ve got a long way to go yet, but I’m learning lots. I’m learning to hold onto my dreams loosely. I’m learning to be willing to enter the doors God opens (even when I can’t see where they lead) and to be just as willing to trust Him should they close. I’m learning to put down my pen and let God write our story—knowing the road may have twists and turns and end up at a place that’s not even on our radar today. I believe His plans are always better for us than our own. And that someday—lots of prayer, listening, learning, Pistachio and Moose Tracks from now--we’ll look back and see that however complicated and random things may seem as they’re happening, in the end it all fits perfectly into that plan.