Two is Terrific!

Guess who turned TWO?

She's been crazy about Toy Story lately, so we went with a "Woody and Buzz" theme for her birthday celebration. We kicked off the festivities with cake and ice cream at our home with family:

After the party, we headed off to Disney to continue the celebration with Buzz himself! We even got to tour the Toy Story "set": The CLAW!!!! haha Packaged up with Stinky Pete: Uh, Oh. . . Looks like Sid got a hold of Miss A! Lost Luggage. . . Does anyone see my L.L. Bean duffel that never made it to Kenya? We wrapped up our day at Hollywood Studios with the Toy Story 3D Ride:

You know, I’ve never understood the phrase “terrible twos”. Two is one of my favorite ages! Still babies and full of innocence and wonder, yet starting to communicate and express their own little ideas, thoughts and opinions. . . Saying and doing the cutest little things! I love it! Sure there are challenges that come with testing boundaries and learning to express themselves, but raising children of any age is a challenge. To me, two year olds are just such a joy! Mr. B and I have never been ones to force growing-up on our babies. Of course, behavioral expectations and discipline get turned up a notch with increased levels of independence and choices, but our little ones can have their bottles, passies, get rocked to sleep, get spoon fed, wear diapers, etc.. etc… as long as they want! We’ve never confiscated passies or blankies. And we don’t get worked up about potty training (seriously, y’all, potty training means having to navigate toddlers through nasty public restrooms when out and about—I’d rather change a diaper any day!) But don’t think we haven’t been given much, ahem, advice otherwise. And it goes in one ear, out the other. We know one day we’ll miss these things, so our approach is to savor our babies rather than rush them out of babyhood. And interestingly enough, babies turn into toddlers and toddlers grow into big kids no matter what. So why create more work and projects by trying to make it happen on our schedule?!? Both of our older girls moved on from cribs (albeit from their cribs to Mommy and Daddy’s bed!), hi-chairs, bottles and diapers all on their own sometime between their second and third birthdays. They grow up TOO fast. . . so cherish the TWOs!

Let me share a few things about my adorable two year old. She’s so delicious I could eat her up with a spoon! She is the most loving little girl with hugs and kisses a-plenty for her Daddy, Mom-Mom, Me-Ya and Nan-Nette. At random times during the day she will grab my cheeks, turn my face so we’re looking in each other’s eyes and say “I Yuh You Mom-Mom”. Melts my heart! She loves music, dancing, drawing, playing the guitar and piano. She and can memorize song lyrics like you wouldn’t believe! She’s a little firecracker—determined and persistent—ain’t nobody gonna run over this little bit o’dynamite! And she’s just exploding with personality and enthusiasm for life. And so talkative and articulate! She knows how to use my iphone better than I do. Strangers look on in awe as she flips through screens, scrolls through family pictures and videos finding what she wants to look at, pulls up Yo Gabba Gabba videos on YouTube, practices her photography skills, shines the flashlight . . she’s so, so very smart! And speaking of strangers, I am happy to report that Miss K has become much more leery around them. That may sound like an odd thing to celebrate to non-adoptive parents, but it represents great progress to us! When we got home, K would smile and jump in the arms of anyone and everyone—particularly men! Strangers would complement her sweet, extroverted, confident personality and she became very popular, but this was a big red flag from an attachment standpoint. Each time it would happen we would go back into our cocoon and try to make our world a bit smaller. Then we would slowly venture out again and test the waters. Over the past year and a half, we’ve made strides and regressed. She is now consistently showing signs of strong attachment. While I anticipate that there may be some more ebb and flow in the process, she is displaying much more stranger anxiety and giving much less indiscriminate affection. She's still got a sweet, bubbly personality, but she now takes her time warming up to new people and takes her lead from us. Her latest technique to stick close to us and avoid interactions with strangers is to have us hold her as she lays her head on our chest, closes her eyes and pretends to sleep. We play along and say “Oh, look, K is sleeping. Sorry, you can’t hold her or touch her or talk to her”, as she grins and periodically peeks out to observe the conversation. And our girl is adventurous! There’s not a ladder she won’t climb or a slide she won’t go down. Her favorite foods are bananas, strawberries, grapes, yogurt, cheese, waffles, injera, pasta and pizza. And she loves her “ba-duhl”. She’s pretty much a vegetarian, though, and refuses most fish, chicken and other meat. Put it on her plate and she’ll take one look, point at it and tell you “Don’t want dat. Take it back!” She didn’t want to leave the pool the other day and as I buckled her into her stroller she looked at me solemnly, shook her head back and forth and said “Not happy, Bob. . . not happy.” (a line from the Incredibles—a movie I’m not even sure she’s seen). She’s a hoot! I just wish I could just bottle these moments up. It’s such a sweet time and it seems to be flying by so fast.

K’s birth family and the mysteries of her story are never far from our minds, and are especially heavy on our hearts at her birthday. K’s night-time grieving has phased out over the past year, but over the past few weeks, she’s whimpered in her sleep and has woken up crying on several occasions. I’ve read that babies can sense the anniversary of tragic events and will grieve more often at that time, and I believe there's some truth to that. Four days before her birthday (an estimated birth date given to her by Ethiopian officials), she woke up in the middle of the night sobbing like her heart had been broken. She was inconsolable as I held her, rocked her, walked with her, rocked her, prayed for her and sang to her. This is extremely unusual for K. As it was happening, I had a very clear feeling and awareness that somewhere, someone else was grieving with her. I prayed for her birth family and wondered if that night might actually be the anniversary of her birth. After a couple of hours, exhausted, she fell asleep in my arms and I situated myself on our cozy sofa so we could doze together until sunrise. Adoption is beautiful, miraculous and redemptive, but it always involves loss. May I never get so caught up in the delight of being K’s mommy that I neglect to appreciate my daughter's losses, or to honor the sacrifice of her birth family. I am undeserving of such a precious gift.

Mom-Mom loves you, Miss K—to infinity and beyond!