Created For Care

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young--a place near your alter, O'Lord Almighty, my King and my God." Psalm 84:3

A few months ago, God placed the idea of a retreat on Andrea's heart. A Christ-centered retreat for adoptive mommas to encourage, inspire and connect with one another, and relax and be cared FOR. Despite having a more-than-full plate, Andrea followed the Lord's prompting. She wrote up a blog post about the idea, thinking that maybe 25 women would attend. She sent out invitations to a “dream team” of speakers hoping that maybe one of them might come and provide useful information. But God’s plan was so much bigger! ALL of the speakers enthusiastically agreed to come, and when she opened up retreat registration, 250+ women jumped on board! I get goose-bumps when I think of all the “God moments” Andrea has mentioned that occurred as the retreat was being planned. Andrea is so precious and humble and gives all the credit and the glory to the Lord for making the retreat a success, but she was certainly His hands and feet in making it happen. Thank you, Andrea and your volunteer team, for all you did to make the Created for Care retreat a reality. Thank you for listening to God and having an open and willing heart. So many women were blessed as a result of your obedience. You are amazing, girl! Love you and so grateful to call you friend!

Here’s a little recap of my retreat experience. . .

Friday morning, I packed my bags and loaded them up in my new (to me) MINIVAN that I just got last week! I wonder if everyone would consider me shallow if I wrote a whole 'nother post about how much I love my VAN!?!?!? I never in a hundred years thought I’d say that, either. It’s nothing fancy, y’all, but to me, it rocks! A few weeks before the retreat, I was conflicted about whether to fly or drive to Atlanta. It’s only about 1.5 hour flight but it seems to take about 6 hours from the time you leave the house, drive to the airport, park, check in, get through security, board, fly, disembark, get bags, drive to the hotel, etc… Driving takes 8 hours, so only a little bit longer in total time. And even with the cost of gas, it came out to be quite a bit cheaper. Another plus of driving by myself would be a full day to prepare my mind and heart for what I knew would be a special weekend (and to entertain myself by belting out all my favorite old school hip-hop songs in the privacy of my own tinted-window vehicle). So I decided to go for it and make the drive. When my sweet new ride entered the scene, I was that much more excited to spend a day behind the wheel. It turned out to be such an easy-peasy drive that I’m looking at the calendar trying to schedule a weekend trip with the whole fam to hang out some more with our Atlanta-area friends.

I arrived at Lake Lanier Islands Resort Friday evening and checked in at the Legacy Lodge. The accommodations were so peaceful and luxurious! If the weather had been warmer, I would have been tempted to rent myself a canoe and explore the lake on Saturday afternoon. It was beautiful!

When I checked in, the desk clerk handed me an adorable gift bag with a cute Created for Care coffee mug, a pair of comfy gloves (we were in the arctic of Georgia, after all—it SNOWED there a few weeks ago!), and CHOCOLATE—the first of many touches reflecting the huge amount of thought, creativity, time and effort Andrea and her team put into the weekend. I dropped my suitcase off at my room and headed down to the meet and greet/coffee and dessert area.

WOW!!! The energy in that room was overwhelming! Women from all over the country, with children from all over the world, all at different stages of life and with different adoption and parenting journeys and experiences, but all having hearts on fire for the Lord, adoption, foster care and orphan ministry.

A couple of sweet ladies whom I didn’t yet know approached me and told me they read my blog. You’re Mrs. B aren’t you? Aren’t you Miss K’s mom! Your girls are so cute! I love your new blog design! Your adoption video is beautiful! Meeting some of the faces behind those mysterious dots on my visitor map was just the neatest thing! I don’t have one of those blogs that is intended to teach anyone anything or change anyone’s life—if you're reading this, you know that my posts are mostly sweet, fluffy, sentimental, proud mama family scrapbook-type stuff. But I am so touched and honored that people stop by and think about our family and have followed our journey and PRAY FOR US. That is just so, so special! There is so much POWER in PRAYER! I looked around and saw women like Joy Portis and Gwen Oatsvall—amazing women of God and a couple of my favorite bloggers who probably don’t have any idea who I am. I couldn’t psych myself up enough at the time to introduce myself—but WOW! So much knowledge, experience and passion in that room! Speaking of Passion, I turned around and my friend and travel buddy Emily was standing behind me. LOVE her and was thrilled she was there and that I got to hang out with her at the retreat!

As we moved into the ballroom for the opening session there were squeals, hugs and laughter all over the place as everyone else was also experiencing the joy of meeting and reuniting with beloved friends! Prior to the retreat, many of us only knew each other through blogging, listserve groups and Facebook—yet we had grown to love each other and it was just indescribable to suddenly have those familiar smiles and heartfelt words attached to a real, live bodies.

There was an opening prayer and when I looked up, one of my other travel buddies Molly was coming over for a hug! Our travel group is like family to us—those bonds formed as we shared the experience of meeting our children are unlike any other. Love those families and their kiddos! I got teary-eyed when I noticed that she’d brought K’s cribmate E with her! My heart swelled with joy when I leaned over and kissed E’s cheek. Can’t explain how happy it makes me to see the K’s little Hannah’s Hope peeps growing and thriving in loving families!

After the opening prayer, Andrea kicked off the retreat with this great video she put together. Scroll down and pause (II) the blog background music before playing it and be sure to look for K and company at 1:37!

After Friday night’s program I tracked down Lauren and finally—after nearly two years of considering her to be one of my dearest and most trusted friends—got to throw my arms around her little body and give her a big hug!! Her listening ear, feedback and insight through the adoption process (she and her husband were right behind us on the "girl list") and since we've been home has been invaluable. I am so thankful for our friendship!

Over the course of the weekend, I was also able to chat with Danielle, Jackie, Christie, Kristi, Tisha, Kim, Becca and several other blog friends IN REAL LIFE!!! If you’re a fellow adoption blogger, you will totally get this and if you’re not, you will think I’m crazy, but these girls are some of my most precious friends. Though we'd never met in person, we'd already connected in our hearts. I loved being able to spend time with these women—we laughed, cried, worshipped, ate (lots of eating!), talked about deep stuff like adoption ethics, adoptive parenting, transracial families, current world events, and the orphan crisis, exchanged hair care tips, and shared lighthearted, giddy, up-too-late-delirious goofy moments as well. It was such a memorable, cherished time together. To everyone that I did have the opportunity to chat with over the weekend, THANK YOU so much for your prayers, encouragement, thoughtfulness and advice. I was so blessed by our time together!

On the last night, a sheet with all of the attendees’ names and blogs was distributed. I tucked it away in my folder and when I got home, pulled it out and skimmed it and was like—WHAT??? So-and-so was there?!?!? And so-and-so?!?! And so-and-so!?! (Katie, Melanie, and Bonnie are a just few of those so-and-sos!) I have so enjoyed following each of your blogs and journeys and wish I would have had the opportunity to bump into you! Hopefully next year! And I'm going to have so much fun in the meantime visiting all of the blogs and getting to know some the other women that were there.

With Andrea: With Kim: With Molly and sweet little E: Christie, Tisha, Lauren, Me, Aimee Powell: Wish I'd taken more pictures!!!

Worshipping alongside the 250 other adoptive and foster mommas was unforgettable. We had church, y’all! The Holy Spirit moved in that room! God was in the house! The worship leaders were great and one of the songs we sang was new to me but I have not been able to get the lyrics out of my head all week:

Come away with me

I have a plan for you

It's gonna be great!

It's gonna be wild!

It's gonna be full of Me!

The speakers were exceptional! So much truth and wisdom! Every one of them had a different and moving story that exemplified God’s faithfulness and redemption. It sometimes seems, especially within the Christian community, that there is a lot of “Yay, Adoption! Rah! Rah! Rah!” but not a lot of time spent equipping adoptive and prospective adoptive parents with tools to use for some of the issues and challenges unique to adoptive parenting. These speakers all have a genuine interest in giving parents useful tools and knowledge to help us succeed in raising the children that God has entrusted us with and to glorify Him in the process. And these women were anointed! They spoke straight to my heart and whenever my heart is touched, the tears start falling. The only thing missing was tissues on the tables! Thankful for waterproof mascara!

Dr. Susan Hillis lost one of her three biological children in a tragic accident and was later called to adopt 7 children from Russia. She is a top scientist researching HIV with the Center for Disease Control—YES! A working adoptive mom with a large family! I won’t be the first or the only one! That in itself was an inspiration! Dr. Hillis’ story is such a testimony of God’s grace and restoration. She also joined Suzanne Meyernick and Amy Levy for a great break-out session about HIV+ adoption, a topic that that has been in Mr. B and my hearts and prayers in recent months. Amy Monroe shared about her adoption journey, which started with infertility. She and her husband later realized that adoption was not Plan B but God’s perfect Plan A for their family. Through Tapestry and Empowered to Connect, Amy and her husband minister to hundreds of adoptive and foster parents by equipping them with techniques for attachment and assisting their children with finding a voice when others (sometimes clueless others) ask questions or speak to them or in front of them about their story. Nancy Thomas (author of Families by Design and When Love Is Not Enough) is a renowned attachment therapist. She was a hoot to listen to, but her laugh-filled session was full of practical advice about parenting children, especially children from hard places, with the grace, mercy and love that our heavenly Father bestows on us. She shared some great information about rebuilding foundations and brain connections and techniques for helping to heal children’s hearts. Aimee Powell (the sweetheart of a woman behind Mac Powell—the lead singer of Third Day) shared her heart and her family’s journey of domestic adoption. This is another topic that has been on Hus-B’s heart and mine since even before our first adoption journey. We both feel certain that it will be a part of our story and are praying about whether it will be our next adoption or one of the ones after that.

Some of my notes from the weekend:

“There’s no message without a mess and there’s no testimony without a test!” LOVE that!

Story of Hagar (Genesis Chapters 16 and 21): Be a woman who Lives at the Well—not one who Lives to Wail. Conviction! I need to change my focus from the problems faced in everyday life to focusing on God’s promises and presence. Do not want my girls to grow up remembering me as a cranky, moody whiner! Stop the Wailing, C! I am so incredibly blessed and have great reason to rejoice and LIVE WELL AT THE WELL!

Book to Read: Castaway Kid

The Lord will pay the ransom!

Adoption is a LIFELONG journey--it is a privilege (not a burden!) to walk that journey with your kids.

Don't get distracted by rectangles!

You cannot lead your child to a place (a place of healing) if you haven't been there yourself.

Story of Samuel and Eli: Teach your children to listen for and be sensitive to God’s voice. Let God talk to them, don’t always expect Him to talk to them through you!

Keys to Bonding: Eye contact, touch, movement, smiles (smile with your eyes), lactose/sweet

Think of the first few months after you bring home a new baby as a time of intensive care. A broken heart is a special need and requires intensive, intentional care to heal.

During the retreat, Andrea announced that someone had generously volunteered to donate a CD of all of the talks and breakout sessions to each attendee. What a gift! I have enjoyed listening to the sessions I wasn’t able to attend as I’ve driven to and from work in my VAN all week. Planning to share them with my local adoption friends as well.

I was so inspired by some of the “ordinary” moms in attendance who have helped to start and/or lead organizations with extraordinary ministries doing amazing things—Sixty Feet, Wiphan, 147 Million Orphans, Positively Adopted, Promise 686, and Sole Hope are just some of the organizations represented at the retreat. Saturday night, we had a popcorn and movie party after the evening session and watched Bereaved, a documentary about child imprisonment in Uganda produced by Sixty Feet. Left many of us speechless.

A woman named Linda Cox shared some excerpts from her beautifully written and illustrated children’s book, They Had to Run, which she wrote and is selling to raise money to help fund a medical clinic in Kigali which is being constructed by the One Hundred Days organization. Y’all know Rwanda is a country near and dear to our hearts—especially since Mr. B’s trip there in October. It is a story of hope that tells some of the history of Rwanda in a child-appropriate way. I really wanted the book for my girls and our family library, but at $35, it was just not in my retreat budget. As I checked out, I was informed that a gift was waiting for me at the concierge desk. I was expecting it to be my copy of the CD of breakout sessions, but was so surprised to find out that Kim had purchased a copy of the book for me! Kim--you blessed my socks off! My girls have been looking at the pictures and having us read it to them all week. I am just so touched by your thoughtfulness!

You would have thought Andrea was a professional event planner the way the entire weekend flowed so seamlessly. The food was delicious. The snacks were plentiful (Ice cream bars! Fresh-baked cookies! Coffee and Cokes! Candy bins! Fruit and cheese!). The fellowship was fabulous. There was a perfect mix of relaxation, education and worship.

I thought I’d get caught up on my sleep while spending a weekend at a resort with my OWN plush room!

HaHaHa!!! While I slept well, I stayed up past midnight both nights and hopped out of bed at 6 a.m. both mornings excited with anticipation about what the day had in store. And while it was nice to have a bed all to myself, as I drove home on Sunday, I looked forward to sleeping like a sardine in my queen-sized bed with Mr. B, two of my three girls and our poodle! CRAZY!

The retreat was life-changing and heart-changing! I am so glad I went. Spending time with the Lord and surrounded by such dynamic women was just what I needed. And I really didn’t even know I needed it. The drive home went by so fast! My spirit was uplifted and my heart so full of joy! I returned home refreshed, renewed, rejuvenated, inspired, energized and encouraged.

I am so excited about what God has in store for the lives of all of the women who attended the retreat! I am so honored to be walking alongside all of you in your journeys. It’s gonna be great! It’s gonna be wild! It’s gonna be FULL of HIM! Can’t wait to read about it in your blogs and hear testimonies next year! In the meantime, don’t forget to PYD! (Pray Your Dream!)